Wednesday 9th December 2009

The all-new Astra could never be confused with Mrs Beckham

As a complete unknown (to all of you at least), a certain Mr A. Hewson (a mighty fan of all things Partridge) used to say, “Not my words Carol, but the words of Top Gear magazine” Well, website. Top Gear, yes Top Gear (not necessarily perennial lovers of all things Vauxhall-thank you Mr Clarkson) started leaking tidbits of information about the all-new Astra back in May of this year. And highly praiseworthy it was too. Their feeling was that the Astra had gone posh and was like an Insignia, but for little people. Leaving aside whether that was stature or income related (which would be all of us at the moment-thanks bankers) they certainly picked up on some of the key design elements that the Astra designers might have borrowed from the current European Car of the Year.

They praised the fact that the all-new Astra had ‘adopted a more sophisticated suspension set-up’ than most of its rivals and ‘borrowed the Insignia’s Flexride adaptive damping system’. And thanks to the ‘sideblade kink’ giving it that final wow factor, it really was a good looking car. When they said posh, I’m thinking they also really meant meaty. Having seen and driven the car myself, there is no way you could conceivably confuse this car with the skinniness of that other rather well known Posh (no not you Peterborough United...)And their verdict on the interior design of the all-new Astra was just as fulsome! It was equally as good looking and equally as posh! It featured an uber-designed, practical, ‘classy and understated cabin’ which impressed them, unlike the Ford’s which were ‘getting a bit bling and a bit blousy’. High praise indeed for all those involved with the all-new Astra at Vauxhall and all this goodness comes at a price that even the bankers have left us enough money to be able to afford. Hopefully. Or we can ask Santa.

Lastly, they picked up on the fact that all new owners will appreciate the ‘red glow coming from the base and doors-indicating you are in Sport mode and if you click to a more sedate mode (sic), it will glow white or red’. Inspirational stuff. If you don’t believe us check out their posts here or as Mr A. Hewson would prefer to do, check out Partridge quotes here. And then order an all-new Astra, I dare you. Proceeds of all sales will not be going to charity but Mrs Beckham’s famine relief fund, for herself.[Only joking, proceeds won’t. Don’t believe this; please don’t tell your mates that it will, even as a Xmas gag].